Holidays bring tears not cheers!

Well Fall has arrived, which means the holidays are right around the corner. I have a strong feeling that this year is going to be tough....not sure why but I do. Maybe because the last few months for me have been tough, I have missed Jonathan more in the last few months than I have in the 4 years hes been gone. Things are hitting home. As much as I hate to admit it I would have to say that I do believe that it took over 4 years for his death to really hit me. I'm still fighting through it dont get me wrong, but it's harder. I don't break down easily and I definatly don't show weakness unless I have absolutely no choice. But see I have a choice, His name is Jesus! If  I keep all of my faith in Him I know I will get through this rough spot to. I know Jonathan wants me to keep being positive and looking at the big picture, which is the fact that I need to do what I need to do here on earth so I can be with him in Heaven.