Its been a while

It has been a while since I last blogged. Haven't felt much like talking lately but for some reason I have felt the urge to in the last few days. I don't even know what about. I guess just that I miss Jonathan so much that I want to just say that out loud. His birthday was last month and he would of been 12. I cant believe that I'm not gonna see him grow up, graduate, get married and have a family. That is so hard to even think about. Watching my other children grow up makes me miss Jonathan even more but I am so grateful that I still have them. I smile everyday because of all my children. I'm happy to be able to hold and hug Bridget and Derek and I am blessed to of had what time I did with Jonathan but I still cant get it through my head that he is never coming back.