Dear Jonathan,

Dear Jonathan,
I know you were with us all day today so you saw what we did but I am still in disbelief. I knew that you were loved but wow. There were nearly 400 people at your viewing. So many children were there and everyone of them were there becuase you were their friend in some way shape or form. When we walked in I couldnt believe all the flowers, cards and other things people sent to pay their respects.

When we got their your dad and I were told that we should sit next to you so that everyone could walk through and pay their respects to us. Well needless to say your dad sat their 90% of the time but I just couldnt. I had to get up and walk and talk. Sitting next to your casket was not something I ever wanted to do, ever. I think dad just couldnt move or else he would have. Bridget and Derek had so many friends and teachers that were there for them today. How is it that such young people can touch so many? I was very proud of them today, they coped very well. Derek walked with a lot of his friends up to see you as did Bridget because they wanted to be there for there friends. How selfless was that? They were not just thinking about themselves when most only think of themselves at a time like this. You should be proud of them.

When I woke up I didnt want to go but at the same time I couldnt wait to go because today was gonna be one of the last times I got to touch you. And I know that you knew I was there and that I was holding your hand, I just know it. As your dad and I sat there waiting patiently for the night to come to an end, Mrs. Swineford, one of your teachers, gave us something a comfort cross. We put half of it in your hand and I carry the other half with always. It makes me feel closer to you. I will never let it go, ever.

Today was very hard but tomorrow is going to be horrific. I am not ready for this Jonathan, I am not ready to say goodbye forever.

Love Ya,
Mom