From the day Jonathan died I started a journal, letters to Jonathan, just journal entries on how im feeling and letters to God.
Dear God,
As you know today is the viewing. Did I really just say viewing, I mean a viewing for my 9 year old baby? Those are among many words that I cant believe I have to say now. I have a few questions for you and althougg I know they wont get answered until I join you and Jonathan I want you to be ready for them when I get there.
First being Why? Why my son? What did he ever do that was so horrible that would make you want to take him away from us? Because I know he wasnt ready to leave this world. I know he wasnt ready to leave us his family and his friends. We are devisated as you can see. This is pain that no one should feel so why do you make us feel this pain? I also know that I am not question you and the things that you do or bring upon us, but I cant help it. I dont know who else to ask. I know that we are all put on Earth to serve a purpose, but what purpose could he have already fullfilled at 9? Being a son, a brother, a friend is that it? Not that , that isnt enough becuase that is more than enough. I wouldnt give up the 9 years I had with him for anything. As much as I miss him and want him back I am very blessed to of had him for the time that I did.
Remember I will have a whole list of questions for you when I join you, but for now I ask that you help me, my husband and my children get through these next few days with lots of love and prayer.
With much love
sounds a lot like my journal entries. However, I don't think our questions will matter so much when we get to Heaven and we are reunited with our children and Jesus. Thanks for sharing girl. You are strong and are an inspiration to others.
ReplyDeletethanks tina! you are right once we get there it wont even matter,
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