Dear Jonathan

Today is a sad day. It has only been a week since you have been gone and it feels like I havent seen you in years. But at the same time you are so vivid in my mind. Im still not understanding all of this. Im still not understanding why? I keep hearing people tell me I never will, but what do they know. No one who says that to me has never been where I am. Im trying really hard to hold my self together and Im not sure how long I can do it. Why? Why did he take you from me? From us? I cant handle not knowing thats the worst feeling. Im going to go for now I will write later.

Love you,

Mom

April 23 2008

I will be posting most of my letters to jonathan also.