Dear Jonathan

Dear Jonathan,
Today was one of those days where all I could do was think about you and because I was missing you so much it was making me angry.I know that Im always gonna miss you but Im hoping that Im not always gonna be angry. I have finally started grief counseling and it helps but I have a long way to go. It is wierd because for so long now I have said I dont want to talk and as soon as I got in there thats all I could do is talk. I dont know what every session is gonna bring but what I do know is that I finally can say out loud how I feel.Sometimes I wonder if I just scream really loud would it help? After you died I went to see pastor doug and I said that to him. His response was "well scream." I geuss I just dont want anyone to look at me wierd when they hear me scream for no appearent reason. But you know what Im going to do tomorrow, Im going to head out into a field somewhere and just scream. Maybe it will help, maybe it wont but either way it will feel good for the moment.

I love you and miss you so much Jonathan. I can not wait for the day that we get to see each other again. When I finally do get to hold you in my arms again Im never gonan let you go.

Love,
Mom